My Hometown Cows
Revision IThey munch (sublime contentment), almost smile,oblivious to tales the shadows tell -a continent in throes of panic whilea silent venom seeps, transmitting hell.A world away the carcasses are...
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They munch, (sublime contentment) almost smile,oblivious to tales the shadows tell -**Which shadows are those?a continent in throes of panic whilea monster walks, untamed, transmitting hell.**Is this...
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Hi, Lary.Glad you didn't procrastinate this one. A most subtle take on a most shocking subject. Thanx for posting.Here some thoughts.Your rhymes are great. I liked the assonances in quatrain...
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Hello, Julie - Thank you for commenting. I'm not sure if I'm worried about whose shadow it is, but I will consider this point. I realize 'monster' is over-used, although I feel its meaning is...
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Dutch - aw, come on - give me something to work on I'm happy you like it - and that 'proverbial' works.It's interesting - your 'from/dumb' note...I'm sure you say 'dumb' like 'thumb'....so it must be...
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"I had no trouble whatsoever with the metre of L10.at POwer THAT can PULL proVERB'al RUG."It wasn't a problem with the meter of what was written, but a problem with what was left out of the line in...
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Hi, Julie.I wasn't referring to your reply. I hadn't even read it while writing my own comments. I was referring to Lary's footnote concerning L10:"L10 depends on "proverbial" being read as three...
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The plural rugs and bugs would resolve the meter problem in L10 and yes, it would take more than one of the little micro-critters to create the scenario envisaged.p
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Hi, Lary.Julie's having a point about L10 [the missing article]. It crossed my mind too.Easy to fix IF you take "power" as one syllable:at POW'R that CAN PULL THE proVERB'al RUG.[iamb/ iamb/ spondee/...
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Peter - a great idea!Thanks!And Dutch, you're right - no way could I givepow-er one syllable!Lary
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We must have hit the button at exactly the same time, Lary -- I wrote this without knowing how you pronounce power, so please disregard that portion of my comments. -M.)Lary,I think this is excellent,...
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Thanks, Mary - I sort of like Peter's suggestion the best right now...I get a kick out of your effort to make proverbial three syllables, (giggling).... I keep forgetting about the Texas dra-wl....!...
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Hello Lary.I was interested to read this, and the comments that followed.Good closing with a neat animals' perspective.As Julie says, there's real hysteria in Britain now; but it's far from laughable....
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HiGood to see a take on foot and mouth from across the pond.I like the return of the hometown cows in the beginning of the last couplet. It provides a sudden calm in which to deliver your final...
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Dear Lary,Loved the sonnet and the message. Have only a few nits. Think you should replace "proverbial" with some other word to maintain meter and,the scientists are scrambling to learn *think this...
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Hi Lary.You've painted a grim scene here, but it's evidently far from overstated. Well done.I read 'mind' as collective - stay with it. I favour option 1 with Peter's suggestion incorporated, but you...
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David[/] - Thanks for dropping by!Every week it seems to be getting worse...even here in Alberta, the farmers are upset because a group of army mechanics from Britain have arrived to work on equipment...
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